Zach LarkinsI'M NOT SURE .................
I recently forwarded a message I received from a friend and titled it "Yesterday". It's a look back to the days when our generation, the baby boomers, grew up and some of the horrific dangers we had to face just to make it from birthday to birthday. But it bugged me because I didn't know where or when things went from using common sense to being so politically correct that no one has to take responsibility for any of their actions.
It was probably before this, but do you remember the commercial that told us to buy 'the best' because we were 'worth it'? I think it was a shampoo commercial. The people who grew up swallowing the 'I'm worth it' line were dubbed the me generation and ever since we've had to hang a moniker on succeeding generations to know where they fit into the food chain.
Anyway, the way I see it, some people took this line to extremes and decided that if they were 'worth it', then so were their offspring. Capital punishment was soon confused with corporal punishment, and while spanking a child would certainly never kill them, it came into vogue that to spare the rod and spoil the child was the right thing to do, because they were 'worth it'. Punishing a child by giving him a time out led us to raising children who, being smarter than their parents, weighed the odds of doing something bad against what penalty would befall them. If I hit my sister, it's a 5 minute time out. If I hit my baby brother, it's 10 minutes. I'll hit my sister instead.
Watching sports on TV with one's parents made for a good method to target the youth audience and convince them they needed a $200.00 pair of Nikes to do the exact same things that Michael Jordan could do on a basketball court. P.F.Flyers would no longer allow you to run faster or jump higher. You had to have the Nikes and even if you did get a 2 minute time out for throwing a tantrum at the shoe store, the kids knew that perseverence would pay off. They would invest perhaps 20 minutes into time outs while Mom or Dad had to invest the $200. Hardly a fair trade, but it started us down a slippery slope. Hell, I've got a job and still don't own a $200 pair of shoes. My son wanted some when he was in Gr. 6. I told him to get a job and he could buy them himself. I don't think he's bought any yet and he's in his 30's now.
Then came the ambulance chasers who promised you they would fight for you, because 'you're worth it'. This is more prominent in the States than it is here in Canada, but it is coming. Our lawyers, until recently, were not allowed to advertise what field they specialized in. You went to a lawyer and if he was in over his head, he'd recommend you to a specialist in that particular field, be it civil or criminal law. Living in a border town we see all sorts of American lawyer ads, promising that they will get you every penny you 'deserve' and you pay nothing if you don't win your case. Some seemingly simple cases result in million dollar settlements, if the advertiser is to be believed. One fellow over here tried it by finding a fly in his water bottle. He has suffered undue stress, anxiety and nightmares and was awarded over $300,000. The case is under appeal as a higher court judge didn't swallow the story of this guys trauma.
Nevertheless, parents today will pull out all stops to protect little Johnny from any responsibility, because he's 'worth it'. Let's say Johnny steals a car, does some street racing, kills a pedestrian along the way and ends up piled up against a tree after he loses control of the car. What a perfect scenario. First we sue the auto manufacturer for building a sexy car that someone would want to steal. Then we sue the owners of that car for leaving it in the driveway where anyone can see it and want it rather than hiding it in a garage. Then we sue the pedestrian for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and the trauma Johnny is going through, knowing he took this person's life. The trauma was so great, Johnny forgot what he was doing and lost control of the car and ploughed into a tree. We can now sue the owner of the tree for planting it there and not thinking that maybe twenty years down the road someone would run into it. We can sue the ambulance driver for taking the bumpiest route to the hospital, adding to Johnny's stress and injuries. Of course the nurses at the hospital are not off the hook. We can sue them for not processing Johnny fast enough and this results in even greater stress and trauma. Now we get to the doctor. No, let's leave that alone. He is the biggest contributor to Johnny"s present crisis and that is proven by the money he spends in malpractice insurance. If he was so good, why does he even need malpractice insurance. I rest my case. Because I'm 'worth it'.
Sending someone to their room as punishment just doesn't work anymore. The kid probably has more electronic gadgets in there to keep him occupied and happy than you do in the living room. We had a bed, a nightstand and maybe a desk we did homework at. Being sent to our room was a taste of what prison might be like and we didn't want to end up there! Today's criminals don't really give a rat's ass as they'll probably be looked after better than if they were on the outside and had to fend for themselves. If they are fed the same gruel we feed those who are in nursing homes, they'd throw a riot until conditions improved.
Is it our fascination with Hollywood and the mindlessness that we see coming out of there on a daily basis that is making succeeding generations more and more spineless? Paris has to do 45 days for driving drunk. Her third offence, I believe. That gets commuted to 23 days. What a fine example to set for our kids. Of course now the ball is in Nicole's court to do something more outrageous. Then of course, we have the perpetual rehab people who check in for a day or two to get away from the paparazzi (read: booost their flagging careers) and then check out when they're bored. But it's all okay, because they're 'worth it'.
Great examples to set for our kids. Life was either easier, simpler in the '50's and '60's or maybe we were just naive. But we grew up knowing what manners were, what was truly right vs wrong, knowing what responsibility meant. It's too bad we lost those days. Society is running amok with the liberalism we have embraced. While it is not all bad (liberal policies that is), it has gone over the top and it should be reigned in more than just a bit.
Remember when the worst punishment you'd get would come if you were caught smoking? Remember how shamed you'd feel if you were ever to be caught with grass? Remember how if you ever had an abortion, you'd certainly be chastised and probably have to move out of town? None of these things are any biggies anymore. And that truly is a shame!
It was probably before this, but do you remember the commercial that told us to buy 'the best' because we were 'worth it'? I think it was a shampoo commercial. The people who grew up swallowing the 'I'm worth it' line were dubbed the me generation and ever since we've had to hang a moniker on succeeding generations to know where they fit into the food chain.
Anyway, the way I see it, some people took this line to extremes and decided that if they were 'worth it', then so were their offspring. Capital punishment was soon confused with corporal punishment, and while spanking a child would certainly never kill them, it came into vogue that to spare the rod and spoil the child was the right thing to do, because they were 'worth it'. Punishing a child by giving him a time out led us to raising children who, being smarter than their parents, weighed the odds of doing something bad against what penalty would befall them. If I hit my sister, it's a 5 minute time out. If I hit my baby brother, it's 10 minutes. I'll hit my sister instead.
Watching sports on TV with one's parents made for a good method to target the youth audience and convince them they needed a $200.00 pair of Nikes to do the exact same things that Michael Jordan could do on a basketball court. P.F.Flyers would no longer allow you to run faster or jump higher. You had to have the Nikes and even if you did get a 2 minute time out for throwing a tantrum at the shoe store, the kids knew that perseverence would pay off. They would invest perhaps 20 minutes into time outs while Mom or Dad had to invest the $200. Hardly a fair trade, but it started us down a slippery slope. Hell, I've got a job and still don't own a $200 pair of shoes. My son wanted some when he was in Gr. 6. I told him to get a job and he could buy them himself. I don't think he's bought any yet and he's in his 30's now.
Then came the ambulance chasers who promised you they would fight for you, because 'you're worth it'. This is more prominent in the States than it is here in Canada, but it is coming. Our lawyers, until recently, were not allowed to advertise what field they specialized in. You went to a lawyer and if he was in over his head, he'd recommend you to a specialist in that particular field, be it civil or criminal law. Living in a border town we see all sorts of American lawyer ads, promising that they will get you every penny you 'deserve' and you pay nothing if you don't win your case. Some seemingly simple cases result in million dollar settlements, if the advertiser is to be believed. One fellow over here tried it by finding a fly in his water bottle. He has suffered undue stress, anxiety and nightmares and was awarded over $300,000. The case is under appeal as a higher court judge didn't swallow the story of this guys trauma.
Nevertheless, parents today will pull out all stops to protect little Johnny from any responsibility, because he's 'worth it'. Let's say Johnny steals a car, does some street racing, kills a pedestrian along the way and ends up piled up against a tree after he loses control of the car. What a perfect scenario. First we sue the auto manufacturer for building a sexy car that someone would want to steal. Then we sue the owners of that car for leaving it in the driveway where anyone can see it and want it rather than hiding it in a garage. Then we sue the pedestrian for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and the trauma Johnny is going through, knowing he took this person's life. The trauma was so great, Johnny forgot what he was doing and lost control of the car and ploughed into a tree. We can now sue the owner of the tree for planting it there and not thinking that maybe twenty years down the road someone would run into it. We can sue the ambulance driver for taking the bumpiest route to the hospital, adding to Johnny's stress and injuries. Of course the nurses at the hospital are not off the hook. We can sue them for not processing Johnny fast enough and this results in even greater stress and trauma. Now we get to the doctor. No, let's leave that alone. He is the biggest contributor to Johnny"s present crisis and that is proven by the money he spends in malpractice insurance. If he was so good, why does he even need malpractice insurance. I rest my case. Because I'm 'worth it'.
Sending someone to their room as punishment just doesn't work anymore. The kid probably has more electronic gadgets in there to keep him occupied and happy than you do in the living room. We had a bed, a nightstand and maybe a desk we did homework at. Being sent to our room was a taste of what prison might be like and we didn't want to end up there! Today's criminals don't really give a rat's ass as they'll probably be looked after better than if they were on the outside and had to fend for themselves. If they are fed the same gruel we feed those who are in nursing homes, they'd throw a riot until conditions improved.
Is it our fascination with Hollywood and the mindlessness that we see coming out of there on a daily basis that is making succeeding generations more and more spineless? Paris has to do 45 days for driving drunk. Her third offence, I believe. That gets commuted to 23 days. What a fine example to set for our kids. Of course now the ball is in Nicole's court to do something more outrageous. Then of course, we have the perpetual rehab people who check in for a day or two to get away from the paparazzi (read: booost their flagging careers) and then check out when they're bored. But it's all okay, because they're 'worth it'.
Great examples to set for our kids. Life was either easier, simpler in the '50's and '60's or maybe we were just naive. But we grew up knowing what manners were, what was truly right vs wrong, knowing what responsibility meant. It's too bad we lost those days. Society is running amok with the liberalism we have embraced. While it is not all bad (liberal policies that is), it has gone over the top and it should be reigned in more than just a bit.
Remember when the worst punishment you'd get would come if you were caught smoking? Remember how shamed you'd feel if you were ever to be caught with grass? Remember how if you ever had an abortion, you'd certainly be chastised and probably have to move out of town? None of these things are any biggies anymore. And that truly is a shame!
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Thanks for the comment.
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
Good post.
Dr Spin
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The whole responsibility is a biggie, but I don't know if its new... I think it's convenient to say present day is always worse, because the past isn't here to be directly compared.
But yeah. If you fall in a damn hole you should have been watching where you were walking.
Alot has changedo ver the years, but I don't think Human Nature has changed all that much.
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
Tammy
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Celebrity Obsession
Of course what scares me about that, is that the warning was so specific that some idiot did exactly that, sued the manufacturer and was successful.
I do agree with Brenton, that every generation bemoans the current generations lack of respect, morals, responsiblity etc though. I think it's ingrained on us.
But I do think that the fact that we won't take responsibility for our actions is worrying. The sue first, ask questions later mentality is kind of scary
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ahh I remember the days of getting my ass beat and then sent to my room to "think" about what I'd done...
No tv, no computer, no phone, no radio...no nothing! Just a burnt ass and lots and lots of time to think!
Kids nowadays are given leeway and have excuses for everything, including vehicular manslaughter and drunk driving...
And their "parents" as I laughingly call the adults who conceived and then gave birth to these monstrosties, give them so much "freedom" it's pathetic!...
And you're absolutely right about American lawyers! They're no better than the screwed up clients they represent!
Frivolous lawsuits are taking over this country and ruining it, and I'm getting sick and tired to death of having my taxes increased to pay for little Johnny's therapy because he stole a car or didn't have the right shoes on...
Pfft!
I had two pairs of Keds to knock around in when I was growing up...and one pair of "dress" shoes for church on Sunday...and one pair of "work" boots for working the stock with...
$200 for a pair of sneakers!? Uh, no...I can run just fine in my Reebok crosstrainers and they only cost me $60 bucks...
Now we've got this whole "medical" slant on lawsuits...if you took aspirin ONE time in your life, then THIS is what happened to you and you're entitled to money damages for it 50 years later!
*Rolls eyes* Holy Mother of Pearl Bailey...
America needs a collective ass beating, then made to sit alone and isolated in it's room for a week without toys, tv, radio or computers!!!!
Great post buddy!
Take care,
Nick
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I agree that parents need to take control and kids need to take responsibility. So not all parents today are bad. I teach my kids manners, saying sorry (even to strangers if necessary), having privileges taken away if they misbehave; family responsibilites ie chores because we are a family and family doesn't work if we don't work together.
My two eldest are only 6 and 4 but they get pocket money. They get the same amount as their age and they have to save $1 into a piggy bank; that then gets deposited into a bank account. My daughter wanted a Cinderella dress that was $24. She saved for 6 weeks or so to get it. She wore it to death...probably because she had to pay for it, she didn't just discard it.
I'm not a fan of smacking and this is because of my own experience. My dad was the sort to give you a walloping if you got out of line. Well I was the sort of kid who always disobeyed him, nothing major; just didn't come home from my friends house when I was supposed to. It didn't teach me a thing because I was out doing the same thing the next day.
My mum on the other hand rarely laid a hand on us. But when we did get a smack from my mum we knew that we had let her down bad. And that really hurt me, that I disappointed or angered my mum that much.
Getting a smack from my dad was a daily occurrence, it really had no effect on me...other than to seriously dislike my father.
Besides I think words hurt more than smacking.
Sorry, what was the question?
And you think you rant? I can't believe how long my comment is
Love & stuff
Mrs M
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not an axe murderer eh?
LOL
Well that whole "wait until your Dad gets home!" threat used to make us just about piss ourselves...cause that crazy Irish mick would beat us half to death!
But hey, none of us turned out bad, and we really didn't get whacked all that often anyway...One threat from our Mom about our 'Da' hearing about what we'd done was enough to strike fear in anyone's heart!
I see kids today get away with murder in the stores and malls and even on the streets...And although I strongly agree that "beating" any child is ridiculous, one good whack on the backside if he/she does something really out of line isn't going to kill them...
Hell, my brother, sister and I were lucky to have made it to adulthood without being scarred for life!
LOL
Oh well, it's a new kinder, gentler way of parenting nowadays...I don't say it's wrong if it works, I'm just saying kids get away with far too much these days, and yes, I DO blame the parents...
Take care,
Nick
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It's the same as pets, the way I see it. You have good owners and bad owners, the same as good parents and bad. And no, no one should abuse a child, but a smack on the ass once in a while won't kill anyone. How the hell do you intelligently discuss cereal choices with a 2 year old at the grocery store when he/she is ranting like a banshee? My kids learned early on that I wouldn't tolerate it and we had a much nicer relationship because of it.