Zach LarkinsGEESE
There seems to be a problem with geese in southwestern Ontario and southeastern Michigan. Canada geese in particular. Basically, they are becoming a pest because "they crap all over the place."
At Seven Lakes Golf Course superintendent Vince Murphy fires a starter pistol to scare a flock of the geese, symbolizing the growing conflict between man and this country's iconic bird. "They crap everywhere, and they don't care where -- the greens, especially are a problem," says Murphy, who has worked at the LaSalle, Ont. club for about three years. A simple solution here would be to install goose port-a-johns and just train the geese to use them. It would take a federal government committee a couple of years to discuss all possible ramifications, permission from animal rights groups to set them up to make sure the geese aren't being abused in any way, higher taxes to implement the scheme, mounds of government red tape to ensure they are getting their cut from the licencing fees for the portables, thousands of letters to the editor to explain each side of the problem and the issuance of passports to all geese involved to make certain they are indeed, ‘Canadian'.
Murphy says that their droppings are full of nitrogen and if it's not removed, it actually burns right through the turf. With the installation of the Johnny-On-The-Spots, garden centres could collect all that nitrogen in one fell swoop and mix it in the right proportions in the fertilizer they sell you on Saturday afternoons. Across the ditch, a Michigan citizens' group is pressing the state to approve a cull. Now before all you animal rights activists get your knickers twisted, they propose to donate the carcasses to soup kitchens. If this goes through, I will be in line. I remember having goose for Christmas dinner, but the price of it today is out of reach. I am reduced to eating chicken and pretending it tastes just like frog legs. It's a proposal that makes sense to Murphy. "I wouldn't be against it," he said. "These birds do a lot of damage." Damn straight. If I'm paying $50 or $60 for a round of golf, I don't want to be picking my way through a minefield. Isn't it in the Charter of Rights that I don't have to walk around bird poop? Well, it should be.
In Michigan, Joe St John, founding director of the St Clair Shore Waterfront Advisory Committee (obviously a learned man), said bird droppings are contaminating water quality in Lake St Clair, and polluting 10 kilometres of shoreline. St John has hunted and fished in Lake St Clair for 50 years and says, "If there was a problem with human beings camped on that beach in a tent, and when they have to go to the bathroom, just come out of the tent and went on the beach, people would be outraged. But, because these are Canadian geese and they're part of the environment, its OK." This is where the passport comes in. How does he know for a fact that they are ‘Canadian' geese and not just ‘Canada' geese? Geez, even the UK has Canada geese. Is this just another example of the States telling us our borders are too open? Maybe the Muslims are training them to deliver secret messages. Give me a break. It is Canada goose, Canada geese, not Canadian goose or Canadian geese. Maybe Mr. St John has injested too many PCB's from the fish he's caught in Lake St Clair. He can't even spell his name right anymore. St. is short for street, St is short for saint.
While the cull proposal is being reviewed by the Michigan Department of Natural Resources, wildlife biologist Ernie Kafcas pegs the population in southeast Michigan at between 180,000 and 200,000. In southern Ontario alone, the Canada goose population has skyrocketed from between 2,000 and 3,000 in the early 1970's to about 500,000 said Jack Hughes, a waterfowl biologist with the Canadian Wildlife Service.
It looks like a slam dunk to me folks. The geese are nowhere near being on any endangered species list, so let the cull begin. See you at the soup kitchen.
Sources: Grace Macaluso 'These Geese Are Crapping All Over.' Windsor Star
At Seven Lakes Golf Course superintendent Vince Murphy fires a starter pistol to scare a flock of the geese, symbolizing the growing conflict between man and this country's iconic bird. "They crap everywhere, and they don't care where -- the greens, especially are a problem," says Murphy, who has worked at the LaSalle, Ont. club for about three years. A simple solution here would be to install goose port-a-johns and just train the geese to use them. It would take a federal government committee a couple of years to discuss all possible ramifications, permission from animal rights groups to set them up to make sure the geese aren't being abused in any way, higher taxes to implement the scheme, mounds of government red tape to ensure they are getting their cut from the licencing fees for the portables, thousands of letters to the editor to explain each side of the problem and the issuance of passports to all geese involved to make certain they are indeed, ‘Canadian'.
Murphy says that their droppings are full of nitrogen and if it's not removed, it actually burns right through the turf. With the installation of the Johnny-On-The-Spots, garden centres could collect all that nitrogen in one fell swoop and mix it in the right proportions in the fertilizer they sell you on Saturday afternoons. Across the ditch, a Michigan citizens' group is pressing the state to approve a cull. Now before all you animal rights activists get your knickers twisted, they propose to donate the carcasses to soup kitchens. If this goes through, I will be in line. I remember having goose for Christmas dinner, but the price of it today is out of reach. I am reduced to eating chicken and pretending it tastes just like frog legs. It's a proposal that makes sense to Murphy. "I wouldn't be against it," he said. "These birds do a lot of damage." Damn straight. If I'm paying $50 or $60 for a round of golf, I don't want to be picking my way through a minefield. Isn't it in the Charter of Rights that I don't have to walk around bird poop? Well, it should be.
In Michigan, Joe St John, founding director of the St Clair Shore Waterfront Advisory Committee (obviously a learned man), said bird droppings are contaminating water quality in Lake St Clair, and polluting 10 kilometres of shoreline. St John has hunted and fished in Lake St Clair for 50 years and says, "If there was a problem with human beings camped on that beach in a tent, and when they have to go to the bathroom, just come out of the tent and went on the beach, people would be outraged. But, because these are Canadian geese and they're part of the environment, its OK." This is where the passport comes in. How does he know for a fact that they are ‘Canadian' geese and not just ‘Canada' geese? Geez, even the UK has Canada geese. Is this just another example of the States telling us our borders are too open? Maybe the Muslims are training them to deliver secret messages. Give me a break. It is Canada goose, Canada geese, not Canadian goose or Canadian geese. Maybe Mr. St John has injested too many PCB's from the fish he's caught in Lake St Clair. He can't even spell his name right anymore. St. is short for street, St is short for saint.
While the cull proposal is being reviewed by the Michigan Department of Natural Resources, wildlife biologist Ernie Kafcas pegs the population in southeast Michigan at between 180,000 and 200,000. In southern Ontario alone, the Canada goose population has skyrocketed from between 2,000 and 3,000 in the early 1970's to about 500,000 said Jack Hughes, a waterfowl biologist with the Canadian Wildlife Service.
It looks like a slam dunk to me folks. The geese are nowhere near being on any endangered species list, so let the cull begin. See you at the soup kitchen.
Sources: Grace Macaluso 'These Geese Are Crapping All Over.' Windsor Star
