Zach LarkinsA Guide to Recognising Your Awesomeness
Like any true iconic, heroic and revered legend will tell you, there is a degree of humility and humbleness required of a great man in order to gain the respect of a populus. Arrogance is rarely tolerated but for a few who can actually back-up their diatribe tyrades through an astounding physical display of dominance in their arena. The fine line between confidence and egotism is certainly a bridge that should be walked, a necessary tool in the arsenal of "the awesome", but one should be wary not to stray too far from the river of whence thee came. Supreme acts of overconfidence and shitblokitism will not go unpunished, the bridge can be easily burned and retribution can be swift. If you remember these simple rules that have been passed down from one awesome bloke to another, you cannot go wrong...
1) People hate hearing how good you are. Always remember to talk yourself down, never blow your own trumpet. First, it is nigh on physically impossible unless you've mastered the art of yoga and secondly it looks really uncool. How do you get people to hear about your awesome awe-inspiring acts I hear you say? Well, this is a challenge that even the "made" awesome still have to overcome on a daily basis. This is the path you've chosen, your cross to bare, therefore you must never let your guard down. Awesomeness will always be expected of you amongst your peers and you will always need to be one step ahead. One cannot solely rely on the acts that preceed him, pushing the moral, ethical and social boundaries of decency is the life we choose. No one said being awesome was easy.
This leads me to the next point...
2) There is never a bad time for Awesome. Some social commentators still believe certain public and private arenas are what they like to call, sacred. It is a dying romantic view of the Jane Austen loving, polo playing elite who know which orifice they can insert their tea and scones. Take international cricket as a prime example. These same people who refer to the sport as 'a gentleman's game' have constantly overlooked the racial vilification and vile sledging that has existed since that phrase was coined. Pushing the boundaries and finding an edge over your opponent is what keeps the greatest at the top. So when an act of awesome is staged in a library for example, go one better, why not try a church, mosque, or during Parliamentary question time?
3) Never doubt your awesomeness. Would Luke Skywalker have ever defeated Darth Vader if he believed he wasn't so awesome like his father? What of Ralph Macchio's success in The Karate Kid, not to mention the sequel? If you are having a spate of questionable antics that just won't register on the awesome scale, keep on truckin. Everyone goes through a dry spell in more ways than one. Just remember that your one true awesome-inspiring act is just around the corner. In the mean time do not hang your head in shame and hide from the masses, in fact do the exact opposite. Show them that you have in fact failed and are happy to embrace your mortality. Even better still, try and convince them that your recent misappropriations are actually supreme acts of awesome, on a level way ahead of themselves and the likes of which no human has seen before. If this does not convince them, never forget that time heals all wounds.
Like the title suggests, this is but a guide to kick-start your awesomeness in the right direction. There are no right or wrongs, generally the wrongs are right, when it comes to leading a life of awesome. It is recommended that like anything posted on the internet, these 'directions' should be taken with maybe a bit more than a pinch of salt.
1) People hate hearing how good you are. Always remember to talk yourself down, never blow your own trumpet. First, it is nigh on physically impossible unless you've mastered the art of yoga and secondly it looks really uncool. How do you get people to hear about your awesome awe-inspiring acts I hear you say? Well, this is a challenge that even the "made" awesome still have to overcome on a daily basis. This is the path you've chosen, your cross to bare, therefore you must never let your guard down. Awesomeness will always be expected of you amongst your peers and you will always need to be one step ahead. One cannot solely rely on the acts that preceed him, pushing the moral, ethical and social boundaries of decency is the life we choose. No one said being awesome was easy.
This leads me to the next point...
2) There is never a bad time for Awesome. Some social commentators still believe certain public and private arenas are what they like to call, sacred. It is a dying romantic view of the Jane Austen loving, polo playing elite who know which orifice they can insert their tea and scones. Take international cricket as a prime example. These same people who refer to the sport as 'a gentleman's game' have constantly overlooked the racial vilification and vile sledging that has existed since that phrase was coined. Pushing the boundaries and finding an edge over your opponent is what keeps the greatest at the top. So when an act of awesome is staged in a library for example, go one better, why not try a church, mosque, or during Parliamentary question time?
3) Never doubt your awesomeness. Would Luke Skywalker have ever defeated Darth Vader if he believed he wasn't so awesome like his father? What of Ralph Macchio's success in The Karate Kid, not to mention the sequel? If you are having a spate of questionable antics that just won't register on the awesome scale, keep on truckin. Everyone goes through a dry spell in more ways than one. Just remember that your one true awesome-inspiring act is just around the corner. In the mean time do not hang your head in shame and hide from the masses, in fact do the exact opposite. Show them that you have in fact failed and are happy to embrace your mortality. Even better still, try and convince them that your recent misappropriations are actually supreme acts of awesome, on a level way ahead of themselves and the likes of which no human has seen before. If this does not convince them, never forget that time heals all wounds.
Like the title suggests, this is but a guide to kick-start your awesomeness in the right direction. There are no right or wrongs, generally the wrongs are right, when it comes to leading a life of awesome. It is recommended that like anything posted on the internet, these 'directions' should be taken with maybe a bit more than a pinch of salt.
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